I'm a mean person

A coworker was talking to me about when we can move in to our new house. I told her we weren’t sure if it was closing day or not. She asked if I was packing yet, then talked about stress and unknown really worrying me. I said no, I know it will happen, I don’t much care when it happens, since it will at some point happen and I’ll be in a new house. I at this point would rather be at the end point where I’ve moved and my life can be “normal” not waiting in the middle.

She asked if there was a yard. I said yes. She said she hoped sometime I’d have a picture of it. I said I’d send her a link right then. So I did.

She came back a few minutes later saying it was an amazing house, tile in the kitchen which was so great I could just put hot foods on the counter and the yard was fantastic and she couldn’t imagine having that as a first house. I said we were making an investment - we wanted something we liked, we could live in for 20 years if that’s what happens, and we could re-sell if necessary. Not just whatever was out there. It’s an investment. She then talked about pastoring and how they had rentals, house market not good, pastors not being able to sell their houses, etc. for a few minutes. All while playing with the bouncy ball and mouse parts on my computer monitor.

And then as she walked away, she said “well, I feel like I know you a little better now.” (A bit creepy to me.)

I think I was a little vague/ignoring of her. I think my lovely husband is a much nicer person than I am, as he probably would have told her all about it and been more excited than I in telling it all. I feel kind of mean by not telling her all, but yet I don’t want to tell her all because I don’t feel that she needs to know.

I kind of cut out/am cold to those people that I don't have things in common with, or I don't care to know better because of whatever reasons. I don't go out of my way to talk to people, or even to give them any more info than what they ask. I run on a "need to know" basis, where I decide who needs to know what.

And I've come to the conclusion that I'm a mean person.

Who's proud?

A lady was talking to me this morning about our soon to be new house. I shared pictures of the house with her. She replied by email that she liked the house, thanks for sharing pictures and "I'm proud of you".

This got me to thinking. I've known this lady for all of about 10 months. I know her on a coworker/acquaintance level. She's a great person, just not the type of person I'd choose to spend more time with. She (I feel) doesn't really know ME - she knows the work me, but that's just a part or me, and not much really. And because I don't feel a great bond with her, and I don't feel I need to know her better, I don't share of myself as much as I would with people I like more or want to know more.

Anyway, so I was wondering how she could be "proud" of me. (I wondered if her "proud" was actually kind of like envy/jealousy/really impressed that someone could do this, since she couldn't at that point in her life/marriage.)

Can other people really be proud of me? Wouldn’t just my parents/family/in-laws be proud of me? Wouldn’t others outside that circle just be happy and excited for me?